Monday, January 01, 2007

Starting the new year with the demonization of motherhood

Every now and then I think about a remark a Contra Times said about our culture, that it should be a nursery for our babies. Amen. But I usually think of that remark with cynicism, as a sharp contrast to what actually exists here.

The highest ranking video on a news website was the story about the toddler who walked out onto the highway. My heart jumps out of my chest with desire to help take care of that little boy, and his little sister who have been horribly neglected. Several men on the highway did just that, praise be to them. The children have been removed from their home and the mother has been taken into custody. That seems just as it should be.

BUT HOW DID THIS FAMILY GET THERE?

I can tell you that I live a life of privilege. I have all that I need at my disposal, and I feel blessed every day to be with my husband and young son. But I still have a strong taste of what it is to feel alone and completely at a loss on how to cope with motherhood--I have to actively seek family, community and friendship and it is a daily struggle for me.

As the condemnations and judgements of this mother (she will be the latest symbol in the string of insane moms that have abused their children--which we seem to hate and accept while ignoring causes) start to balloon, how many of us will think about the circumstances that have brought about these conditions for this family, for them and the children's father?

How many real, easily accessible resources do parents have to help raise their children? How many of us live away from our biogical families? How many of us have supportive neighbors and a large community to draw help from? How many of us have partners? How many of us can afford mental health services?

How many of us feel like this country is a nursery for babies?

That family lived yards away from the highway.

Peace.

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